I don't really know how to start for today. I had been haunted by my past which is not very good, I mean in the relationship term.

I had been dumped before, sad, neglected, sorrow, lonely...

But I knew that after all the bad things, I still can get through it. Even though it is hard and now, I think I am getting that 'stupid' phase again in my life. Being left out by my own gf whom I am not sure about her feeling towards me yet. Whom I think still in memories of her previous love. Whom can not move on (hopefully she started to as I am afraid I can not stand no more) and whom is looking at this life from her previous view.

You, please don't be like this. I need you. I know it's hard for me to change but I'm trying my best to. You know how I'm not used to have a gf who have a male friend-close friend? I know it's hard for you to forget all the memories but you need to try hard for it. You have to accept the new life, new bf and new surroundings. I'm not like 'him' who can let you go out easily with another guy, having dinner date, spending time because I am not a believer that man and woman can be bestfriend as they have the tendency to fall in love with each other and if I'm not mistaken, we happened to be like that before right?

This week is a very busy week for me. I have to finish drafting all the invitation letters for the ICON HCD 2009 (www.ump.edu.my/iconhcd2009), a convocation to attend in the weekend together with convocation expo, my personal life which is not very good lately. I don't know. Really, I'm exhausted. Feel like going back to Perak and have my own sweet time there. Feel like turning off my mobile phone so that no one can get me. Feel like going on for a vacation alone.

Many things in my mind right now and the 'best' thing, I'm alone. Like I have no one (for you sayang).

I know I might be over emotional at this particular time but I don't know how and where else I can voice out everything. Thanks for reading my crap. Thanks to you my dear because of 'leaving' me 'alone' in this moment. Really appreciate that. Chowwww.